Right now I am planning on moving to a new apartment which is an upgrade. Also, my dad who got a job here in Portland has been staying with me for way too long while he “looks for a place”. Which is not pleasent when you live in a studio and sleep on your own couch for 5 months and he doesn’t even help with rent. Looking for a new place was a way out of this depressing, weird, awkward situation. He and my mother made some bad choices like many in the U.S and bought a house they could not afford.The sad part is he asked if he could continue to live with me. I say why don’t  you sell your house?  If he can’t afford his own apartment now he won’t in the future. Living with me in my studio apartment is not the answer. It sucks.

On a happy note I met two new guys in my life. One sold me my new Honda Civic…he looks like Heath Ledger…and yes I asked him out And I really like him so far. I feel that ache in my stomach when I miss him. A good sign.

The other looks like Seth Rogen and I let him down easy, in a voicemail. Why? Because I really like the other guy. The downside: he lives in my new building. Note to self- don’t date in the building.

My master’s degree is going well and I met new friends and am finally having fun in the city with them!

My job is going well and I have my days. I am lucky to work where I work.

Overall, I think I am happy. Except for the Dad who is living with me part.

Also, I have been getting very bored at my job mixed in with a little cabin fever due to all the rain and cloudy weather we have been having lately.

I love Portland but I must say I am getting beyond bored with my job because it requires zero creative input from me. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful to have a job in this economy and life could always be worse…but I can’t get rid of this restless feeling. I don’t like feeling so negative about my 9 to 5 job! So I made the decision that maybe this isn’t the “place”  I want to be 2 years from now but I will at least enjoy Portland when I am not working and make the best of it! Also, I need to discover what job I really want to aim for that I will like and something that doesn’t involve entering so much data in a computer all day. I didn’t think the job would be like this and I feel like I am gaining a million pounds sitting at a desk all day. Here is to staying positive and going to the beach next weekend!

My Job

Of course I have some days where I feel a little trapped being in an office all day and I get annoyed by some gossipy girls in the office. But I try to remember all the good things about what this job is giving me. As much as I want to accept invites to go out from some girls I work with I know there is major gossip involved with doing so some of which I became apart of – now I am drawing a line between personal and professional life. I want to be happy there and not know my co workers in another way.

Life

I am trying to do things that make me happy and not wait for anyone else anymore. One of which is going to see one of my favorite artists in concert, Tegan and Sara. I get to start my master’s degree in May hopefully and I am planning a trip to Hawaii in the winter and run in the Portland Marathon.

Tegan and Sara

Ugg…Dating

I went on a date with guy who is a police officer which was odd…we went to a movie nothing before or after. Why choose a place where you can’t talk or see each other? Then I dated a guy for about three weeks before I broke it off. He was “falling in love” which I felt was way to fast for me. Whatever happened to getting to know a person for a while first and taking time? And I also realized I am not ready to get into any relationships soon. (And I hate dating!) I just kind of want to take care of myself for a while before I take care of anyone else.

Every night this week I fell asleep as soon as I got home and had dinner. I think it is all the new information entering my brain from the new job.

Yay for the weekend! I can’t wait to spend it getting stuff for my apartment at IKEA and Sur La Table – but not too much–I have to wait for my first paycheck

….a short 7 minute walk from my new apartment in NW Portland! I love it here…good coffee shops, places to eat, and easy to walk to everything. Ironically this picture I posted almost a year ago I can now see from my window (kinda far away though!):

I decided to take the step of getting the apartment without a job in Portland and coming on my days off from work to interview. Well, one week into it I had two interviews. One of which was for a Marketing Coordinator position at a college in Portland. I was offered the job the same day pending a background check. Two weeks later still no completed background check from a third party company. And my notice was up at my last job so I have no job. No job stresses me out!

A woman there keeps asking for the same number at my last job – 3 times in the course of a week! So until this woman completes this check I can’t start. What is so hard about making the phone call?

So on my birthday I will try not to think any more about it and enjoy my time here as I am officially living here as of today. My parents are coming to visit me and we are going to stroll downtown, eat, drink, and shop. And go to Anthropolgie:

and to the famous Powells Book Store. I will miss all my friends that I made but I will just have to make new ones. Amazing how things happen and all you need to do is take the first step and everything else falls into place.

I should not have said new love, maybe new lust? The new man is no longer in my life. He drove me insane pretty fast. And at this point in my life when I see a red flag I actually pay attention to it. He is respectful but way too uptight and debated my every little comment like a competition.. He even timed my showers and mentioned how could I possibly be clean with a ten minute shower? (It’s not my shower with my usual things in it and I was going home to take a real one anyways). And he mentioned how his ex girlfriend was evil a little too much.

So after his last uptight comment I politely kissed him on the cheek and said I was leaving. He took to his facebook to vent. And twitter. And has said nothing to me. Yes ladies, he is supposed to be 30 years old.

Not meant to be. How can someone be so different from when you meet them to a few dates later?  Good thing I made no decisions based off him.

No final decision yet on the Coast Guard, but either way I am moving Portland!

I think I may do the Coast Guard Reserve instead. There are many of the same benefits but I won’t be full time and I can stay here. The idea is that I would move to Portland and work on that career I came here for. And get the benefits.

I have time to think it over. I meet with the recruiter on Tuesday to talk it over with him.

And I kept the man out of my decision. Haven’t even asked him what he thought. 100% all me.

Thoughts? Honestly.

You don’t know when to expect it. Yes, I met someone. 2 months before I leave for the Coast Guard.

At a Tango night with my friends, a male friend of a friend, I’ll call him G, showed up and I instantly adored him. And him me. I already have visited him in Portland where he lives. I had an amazing time. A simple thing like walking to get coffee in the morning with him in the city made me so happy.  He is incredibly stable professionally and emotionally, and open and honest. I didn’t think this species of man existed. Nor did I think I could feel this way again. It has me already questioning my cold feet about the coast guard. Not something I want to have cold feet about. And he already said no to a long distance relationship. And I said no to changing my plans.

Basically I feel incredibly torn and sad. And slightly depressed. Why after 9 months of no one in my life does he come along now? At the same time I don’t want to compromise myself. But for me love at the end of the day no matter what I’m doing career wise is important. It is a new love though.

All I can say is: crap.

ADVICE PLEASE!

Well at my local gym, where my mother  and I go to to work out , we spotted a man we knew (who is married) with a female (who he is not married to) canoodling. At my job, his wife came in today and heard about our spotting and grilled me about.

I never sweated so much. I mean, I was telling her basically that her husband was cheating. He had been cheating with a lot of females and they are now in the midst of a divorce.  But it didn’t make the unexpected confrontation any better. What a weird day.